Rest in peace Grandma'... :'(

I woke up to a very disturbing phone call informing me that my Grandmother has passed today. The hurtful thing about this whole thing - besides the fact that she is gone forever - is the fact that we had lost contact after Dad got locked up again about 2 and a half years back. I had just recently sent Father a letter(this past valentine's day; first letter sent since he's been locked up - due to the fact I just found his mailing information on OTIS) stating that I felt lost and empty with out that side of my family...and now this news comes to me about a week later. I believe in an awesome God. He is not a God of confusion, and I know for damn sure that everything happens for a reason. My steps are ordered. It was meant for me to contact my father when I did. Even though I didn't know that Grandma' would pass on, the reason behind me sending the letter stands firm. Dad needed to know...he needed to be aware of the fact that I still existed and the fact that I still acknowledge him as my father. He needed to know that he had some one out here that loves him; doesn't think he's a monster - especially after Grandma's death today.

I love you Grandma' Jean...
sorry that I didn't try harder to find you - contact Dad earlier. At least then I would have been able to tell you that I love you, and miss you. I miss you and Grandpa'. The only one left from that side of my childhood; the happy care free side of my past, is Dad. I won't lose him again.

Julie and Julia

Yesterday I saw the movie 'Julie and Julia' and was inspired to start blogging. I need to get my thoughts out some way, why not type them all out and post them here for millions of random strangers from across the globe to see. Heh, well the idea sounded perfect in my head, lol.

Stay tuned (: